The Career You’re Clinging To Is the Cage You Built to Feel Safe

There’s a voice inside you whispering, “This isn’t it.”
You’ve tried to drown it out with logic.
With denial. Pushing it away. 
With another busy week.
But it’s getting louder.
And pretending you don’t hear it is getting harder.

You’re not reading this by accident.
You’ve been carrying the quiet knowing that something needs to change —
and this is it, reflected back at you.

I want to say something you might not hear often:

I see you.

Not the version you show the world.
The version behind the polished smile.
The one who’s quietly questioning everything.

And you know how I can see her?

 - Because I was her.

I know what it’s like to wake up in a life you worked hard to build…
and feel like a stranger inside it.

To show up for work, meetings, obligations —
smiling, performing, doing what’s expected —
while a small but powerful part of you is whispering, “I can’t do this anymore.”

You’ve followed the rules.
You’ve done everything “right.”
You’ve played the game, climbed the ladder, ticked every box.

But the truth?

You’ve been shrinking to fit a version of life that no longer fits you.

And the scariest part isn’t leaving —
it’s admitting that you stayed this long.

You’ve made your success look effortless.
But you’re tired.
Not tired from doing too much…
Tired from being someone you’re not.

There’s a Japanese concept that put language to what I had felt but never been able to say:

Honne (本音) — your true feelings and desires. 

Tatemae (建前) — the mask you wear to meet expectations.

When I discovered this idea, it hit something deep.

Because that’s exactly what I’d been living —
a polished, high-functioning version of myself that looked fine from the outside,
while my Honne — the real me — was quietly disappearing underneath.

I don’t reference Japanese wisdom in my work because it sounds beautiful.
I use it because it tells the truth — gently, clearly, and without apology.

Their philosophies don’t force change.
They reveal what’s already real — and invite you to finally stop resisting it.

That’s what this moment was for me:
a quiet invitation to come back to myself.

But the quiet truth never left.

It lived in my body.
In the tightness in my chest walking into work.
In the tired smile I wore when people said, “You’re so resilient”
In the silence of my mind, where I would whisper to myself over and over…

“I can’t do this anymore.”

Not out loud.
Not to anyone else.
Just to me —
And even that felt like a betrayal of the life I had worked so hard to build.

But it was the beginning.
The first flicker of honesty.
The moment I started telling the truth — not to the world, but to myself.

It wasn’t burnout.
It was misalignment.

The role I was playing no longer matched the woman I was becoming.
And the longer I stayed, the more disconnected I became from myself.

So no, you’re not ungrateful.
You’re not broken.
You’re not “too much.”

You’re waking up.
And your subconscious is resisting that shift with everything it’s got.

It will sound like logic.
It will show up as hesitation, excuses, practicality.
It will tell you to wait.
To be safe.
To stay where you are.

That’s not your wisdom speaking.
That’s your conditioning.

And here’s what I know for sure:

You don’t need more proof.
You don’t need a perfect plan.
You need to stop pretending you're okay with this.

You are allowed to change.
You are allowed to want more.
You are allowed to leave a life that looks good but feels like a slow leak in your soul.

You don’t have to stay in a cage just because you built it.

I say this not just as someone who teaches this work —
but as someone who lived it.

I broke my own heart before I ever broke the rules.
I let go of an identity I clung to for over two decades —
and on the other side, I found myself again.

So if no one else has told you this yet, let me:

You’re not too late.
You’re not too far gone.
You are so much closer than you think.

You don’t need permission.
But if you’re looking for it —
this is it.

You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to start telling the truth.
Sometimes all it takes is finally honoring the words you’ve been whispering for years:
“I can’t do this anymore.”

I’ll believe in you until you remember how to believe in yourself.
And when you’re ready —
you won’t just walk out of the cage.

You’ll set it on fire.

The Wisdom Behind the Words

I have always been fascinated by Japanese Culture.

In this post, I referenced two powerful Japanese concepts that helped me understand what I was experiencing — and what so many women silently live through:

Honne (本音)

Your real thoughts, feelings, and desires.
The truth you often keep hidden — even from yourself.

Tatemae (建前)

The mask you wear in public.
The persona shaped by roles, expectations, and what’s “acceptable.”

These two are often in conflict.
Many women live their entire lives from Tatemae, while their Honne quietly aches beneath the surface.

I use these philosophies not to sound poetic —
but because they name what’s real.
They shine light on what’s been buried.
And they invite us — gently but firmly — to return to who we really are.